Journal Entry: Love, loss and a little self-care

Tennyson said:

Tis better to have love and lost than never to have loved at all.

I’ve heard the saying thousands of times and I agree but all that being said it never really prepares you for losing the ones you love.

In the past 8 months I’ve sat at the bedside of my beloved grandparents and said my final goodbyes. It has felt devastating, unsettling – losing the top tier of our family tree.

Often when you share the news that you have lost your grandparents people ask:  how old they were. It always feels like a qualifier of how much you should feel the loss. It’s true I was blessed to spend many years with my grandparents and they lived long and happy lives but losing your grandparents, losing a generation feels so final. It reminds you of the finality of life and of course the fact that one day you will mourn your parents and your children will mourn yours.

I come from a family where – when things get hard we work harder. I’m proud of how hard we work and how tough we can be. Last week I decided to be a little less tough and take care of myself. I unhooked from social media, answered emails from bed and put my out of office on my emails.

Funny, how doing a little self care can feel so foreign but I gave it a valiant effort.

Being a mother a wife and a business owner feels like a privilege, it is. I’m lucky.  I really am. But I will be completely honest it is also completely and totally exhausting. I hate feeling like I’m not doing my best or that I’m failing the ones I love the most. What I do know after a week at home tucked up in bed is that even though I am lucky I will continue to feel like I’m failing unless I take care of myself.

This is either a public journal entry or it will resonate with someone and maybe someone else who is feeling sad, tired, lost will take a day off and practice a little self care. Whether you are tucked up in bed or getting your nails done being a strong, smart and powerful woman means knowing how to care for yourself.